Vulnerability

newly transferred Rose. . . . .flowers







I've also transferred my attention. . . . to magickloveandhealing. . . . my new blog site at Wordpress. . . . but thought it was time for a visit.

I'm going to attempt to get to the 'core' of my feelings . . . . not just flit around the edges.  I'm good at that . . . flitting. . .  a Mercurial & Mutable nature. . . . makes it easy.

It's not that I don't go deep . . . . yes sirree. . .I do!  But usually in the privacy of my own space . . . and often during these times. . .  massive downloads occur!  And of course . . .  in the privacy of my own secure space . . . I don't make myself vulnerable.

Yesterday was one of those 'Body' days I have . . . . and doubt started creeping in. . . is it ever going to change!  Most of the times I know what I believe . . .  and that is 'everything' can improve . . . . if you take the right steps.  But there are those days . . . when it's all just too present and my body's issues are up front and personal and I find them . . .  a little overwhelming.

I try to distract myself . . . I'm good at that . . .  sometimes it works . . . but it's often not the best thing for my body.  The body's trying to get my attention . . .. it doesn't want me wandering off . . . but sometimes old habits. . . become very stubborn.

But if I surrender to the present. . . . discomfort and all . . . I start to notice things. . . . feelings, emotions. Feelings are familiar . . .  I feel, feel, feel . . . . everything around me. . . . nearly all the time!  But it's those pesky emotions . . . . ohhh I keep a wide berth. . . . we're all good at somethings. . .and not so good at others.

But being familiar with body issues . . .  for sometime now . . . it's not that I'm sick . . . . I'm not (and I don't like the word!!) it's just . . . well, I don't really know what it is. . . . yes, I had Polio as a child. . . . and the word on the web is that as the years progress . . .  new yucky symptoms appear.  But as I've mentioned before in my online ramblings. . .  I'm not too keen on labels . . . a wee bit rebellious . . . well for a Virgo, anyway!

But honestly, I don't think 'things' can so easily be 'boxed' . . . when there's so much often not available to our physical senses.  Take energy for one . . . . it's what everything is made of . .  you, me, the Earth, the Stars . . . the Universe . . . everything.  And energy has a shape, a smell, a form . . . . it vibrates with Life . . . it's palpable and real.  But the ways we've developed in our societies and cultures . . . we've learnt to only accept the physical . . . and that's just silly.  Well science is catching up in somethings.

I've always been what I call 'Energy Sensitive' . .  for as long as I can remember.  I remember 'seeing' and 'feeling' things immediately I arrived here.  Well that's a story for another time . . . . my travel in time. . . . to the moment I was born.  My Mother's father was a Gypsy . . .  so I probably came with an extra dose of 'seeing' . . . . Dad was a bit that way too . . . my brother called it 'The Border Curse' . . .  will have to ask him what he really meant by that.

So back to energy.  . .  it's all around us . . . not just the physical . .  but the invisible.  It's like having on a pair of special glasses . . . . you get to see behind the veil . . . . fascinating. . . . yes. . . . for this little Earth girl.

But as you can see . . .  I quickly moved away from emotions and vulnerability . . . as I said . . . very good at distraction.  Not that energy doesn't play a part it does . . . . 'cause we have Energy Bodies surrounding our physical body. . . . and one of them is the Emotional . . . it's real, it exists . . . . and our Emotion Body is a land in itself.

This 'Land' can be a sensitive one . . . so many emotions experienced in our Life . . . especially when we're young . . . so we can learn to desensitise our emotional antennae.  . .  and lock away the key to this strange amd mysterious Land.

Yesterday . . . . when my body was down for the count . . . . as often happens during these times . . . .'downloads' begin . . . well that's what I call them . . . it's like all this information.  I write and I write, scribbling it down . . .  I love these times . . . almost worth the price (body down).  It's like I go on a journey to different levels of myself . . . flashes of past, future and now . . . and a depth of 'knowing' that reveals many things.

I came close . . . . very close . . ..  to the edge of a very deep well . . ..  I sensed it immediately . . . tears started to well . . . . I understood immediately where I'd arrived.  The deep well of my emotions . . .  didn't stay very long. . . . now I'm not sure if it was only meant to be a glimpse . ..  . or if I shot off real quick!!

But later that evening as I tried to find some comfort with my body .  . . the word VULNERABILITY . . . jumped into my consciousness.  Ahhh . . . that's what it's about . . . . well we're entering virgin territory here . . . . Saturn in Scorpio . . . . now I thought I'd had nothing much more to learn. . . . . silly, silly me.

Have a stupendous day . . . living your precious, precious Life

lots luv . . . .  marilynxxxx