I was asked sometime ago to write an article for the Aquarius Rising newsletter. I did one the next day (‘quick’, I thought) then sent it off, I called it Courage. Meg (editor of newsletter) got back to me – "I think there’s something missing’ she said, "would you like to revisit it?"That was some time ago now and the ‘story’ has still not been told.
So I sit down early, fingers on keyboard and wait with eager anticipation or is it cautious trepidation – for what will arise from the depths.
It’s easy, you see, to find some nifty bits, clever pieces that come straight from the head (and hands – in Gemini, they’re connected). For someone with a strong Mercury and Gemini, it comes naturally. But what about those deeper caverns, those seemingly inaccessible grottos? So deep that they are removed from conscious thought or memory.
Meg tells me that everyone has a story to tell – with my head, I have many – but what is the real one (for now)? Let’s see!
I came down to Adelaide almost a year ago now – a few things prompted this. The main stimulus for me is and always has been ‘my body’. Being a Virgo, I guess that’s not surprising!
I had worked hard to create a business and centre – Magick Moments – in Ipswich, Qld. My partner and I had completely renovated this lovely old (over 100 yrs) Queenslander house. The poor house had seen better days and once we started pulling everything apart it looked a real mess. I pulled off walls (much to my partner’s frustration), revealing incredible cedar boards beneath. He was frustrated because he had to fix anything I pulled apart – we had some very ‘trying’ times. I repaired, sanded and painted every square inch – inside and out. When I got to the outside that was a real scene – me perched up on scaffolding (which I’d hired and put up myself, with help) painting the outside of the house – it was a scorching heatwave and I was probably about 12 metres up in the air, precariously balancing with paint tin and brush in hand – it was very scary –!!! But I was determined! The poor neighbours – they were terrified for me! I had new floors put down where old boards had seen their final days – stripped all the old doors back to their beautiful wood, replacing a panel in one old door with simply gorgeous old pink glass. The place was coming alive!
When the renvo was finished it looked radiant – I had created my Magick Moments. Each person that came into that place, right up until I closed it, would all say ‘it feels so nice in here, what a beautiful place’. It was a very beautiful place and with the help of some others (particularly my partner Bryan - thank you so much!) I had created it!
I could also feel the change in the street, the energy seemed to have ‘lifted’ – it was palpable. Neighbours were so happy to have me there – they were all very sweet, Magick Moments had come to Keogh St. I experienced so much love there.
So why did I leave? Well it was August 2007, I’d just done my 2nd Astrology class (I’m self-taught, since 1959) with Babula in Mullumbimby (one of my favourite places). It was on the Black Moon. I wrote in my journal
"I took it as a sign to pull myself out of my groove for a few days during my Saturn Return and Lunar Eclipse. I hoped by being in a different environment it would widen my perspective and clarify my thoughts. Clear the cobwebs so to speak – illuminate my path ahead – on this most likely my last chapter here on earth. I knew there was change ahead – I could literally feel it in my ‘bones’ – but I was a bit afraid to instigate the changes – ‘what if?’ I mused. But I know if you don’t make changes when they’re due – they’ll be made for you. So best to get in first!"
I learnt that the Black Moon carries an energy of repression and loss, of the deepest, ancient feminine – like the lost goddess, the lost ancient mother. Her location can illuminate those areas of loss, pain and grief and show us how to heal these repressed energies. Bringing them alive, into conscious action so her strengths and wisdom can be used, to bring to life the goddess – her loving and caring ways.
I then went to spend some time at another of my favourite places Woodenbong, a gorgeous little town right on the Qld/NSW border, surrounded by mountains. It was my 2nd Saturn return and the day after was a Lunar Eclipse sitting directly on my Black Moon – a very powerful omen!
"Bit by bit the moon disappeared, not entirely, as I thought it might, but without the reflection of the sun, the moon looked like a muted red ball. As it went through its transformation I wondered what effect this must be having on all the bodies in the sky. "It must be having some effect," I thought. "How would this effect all the other planetary bodies?" Something cannot happen like this and not have any effect. It’s a huge event. I wondered how this would be effecting all the stars, how would they feel? What lasting effect would this have on them?
Something as large as a planet has a tremendous energetic field and when that’s altered it changes the entire field. It was kind of eerie in a way – this reddish huge planet sitting in the sky. It was clear that it is a planet and that it sits so close to us here on earth"
The eclipse was powerful, very powerful – and it changed my life!
Watching it was simply staggering! The night sky in Woodenbong is always brilliant – but this night something really powerful occurred. I awoke the next morning and new everything had been changed.
There were some more ‘hints’ or should I say ‘shoves’. I was still finding ‘reasons’ in my head, for not making changes. So guess what? Yes my body made sure I was listening. For the first time in my life I called the ambulance – something very weird was happening in my body and I didn’t know what it was. They took me to hospital with concern it may be a heart attack. All tests were fine. It happened again a couple of weeks later – this time they kept me in longer – but still nothing showing on the ‘machines’. I knew something was happening but it wasn’t ‘gross’ enough yet to register on their machines. The time for change had come. To add to that, one morning soon after, sitting at breakfast – the words came loud and clear ‘now is the time’ – they sounded insistent.
So the dismantling process began – it was huge – my beautiful home and Magick Moments! My beautiful home, which I’d invested so much time and energy, so much love – created much beauty and comfort – and my garden, my glorious garden. I had literally planted hundreds of trees and shrubs. I made many of my Flower Essences (Deva-line) from my garden. In fact the birth of my Deva-line Flower Essences began there. This was an enormous job! Extricating myself from all that I’d created was massive – simply massive.
The overwhelming sense of change that seemed to be occurring within every cell of my being – was overpowering – I simply had to concede. So I did.
It took around 9 mths for the whole transformation – from the initial ‘sense’ to leaving for Adelaide. That 9-month period has come again at different times – it really is a ‘gestation’ period.
Within that time of gynormous change I visited my values many times – they were my guiding lights – they kept me going. "What is important to me?" I would ask again and again. These values led me here – for now – who knows what the future holds?
Just recently my partner commented (in good humour) when I mentioned that I was ‘easy going’ - ‘you are many things, Courageous, very loving (at times!) and determined – but ‘easy going’ ‘I don’t think so!’ I had to agree! But there was that Courage word again!
Am I courageous – I don’t know. What I do know is that I have to be true to myself, I have to listen to what I’m saying, that voice never leads me astray.
"Time to do everything you want – live the life you’ve been putting off until tomorrow – ‘cause remember, tomorrow never comes"!
You could say these words are relevant for me in my life having turned 60 – but they are always relevant, every moment of every day they are relevant – because it’s my life – my very precious life.
