The unfolding continues. . .

beautiful Brunswick Heads

The last few weeks have felt a little heavy (a 'little' did I say). . . now, I consciously try to focus on the beauty, the magick and the 'calling'.  But there are just those times when the clouds come over. . .black clouds at times.  Now being a Virgo with a Gemini Rising (Ascendant in Astrology)I'm familiar with logical thinking and reasoning. . . .well for you Astro buffs, my natal Mercury has Neptune sitting on it. . .so.o.o.o my mind also sees 'other' worldly dimensions.

So when those black clouds start to descent. . .I want to know why. . .so I try, with my mind, to understand and reason.  The mind is great, at times very clever. . .but in other times, it's out of it's depth when it comes to the subconscious.

Anyway this morning I was reading the article (I do a monthly 'Living in the Woodenbong Hills' for The Nimbin Good Times newspaper) I wrote for this months addition (you can see it online). . . .I sounded so grateful and positive.  I wasn't pretending, that's what I was feeling. . .and when I think of it. . .those words often come out of my mouth or thru my words. . . .so who is this one under the clouds, feeling heavy?

What I've found very helpful, (and let me add this was/is not something I always find easy, with such a strong cerebral leaning) is tuning into my body.  Finding a quiet, private place to lie down and take some deep breaths and focus on my body. . .go beyond the chattering in my head. . .and focus on what is happening, what I'm feeling in my body.  It's amazing really, 'cause pretty soon the 'reason' for my current state often emerges instantly.

The body is an amazing gift. . .so incredibly intelligent. . .it holds all the answers for my feelings. . .it's actually creating those feelings to get my attention.

Often times 'things' will arise, that I wasn't even relating to my experience. . .situations and reactions from many years previous. . .particularly from deeply buried, traumatic memories.

So in my desire to be authentic, I need to accept everything about me. . not just the lovely part. . .but also those parts which are difficult.

Intuition is always there, it's just often the voice seems so quiet. . .I don't give it full attention.  These last few weeks, with my sprained ankle, my little voice was giving me messages. . . .but I guess I just wasn't truly trusting them. . . . .an old habit I got into.

I had Polio when I was a little girl. . . and all the things that surround that, then and now.  And I remember reading that someone who had Polio and then has an injury, surgery or traumatic experience. . .  can unleash all the associated memories from the unconscious.  Of course there are physical issues as well. . .with some parts of the body not working. . . .but it reminded me again, to listen to my quiet voice when it speaks to me.

So it was no 'coincidence' (my Father used to say tha often) that I was feeling heavy and low. . .a barrage of old, unexpressed feelings and emotions. . .came rushing to the surface. . .you see the badly sprained ankle was on my 'good' leg. . .so now neither feet/legs were working. . . .and boy did that start triggering unconscious memories. 

Yes, I'm a human being, with frailties, with a heart, kindness and loving. . .I've spent a life on Earth with many experiences. . .some not easy. . . and all of these are contained within me.

My mind is relieved. . .'cause it likes to know the reason.  My body is lighter, 'cause I can release an old emotion. . .my heart is free 'cause I know I'm not those passing clouds. . .I can trust I'm OK and continue to see and praise the beauty.

During these times we find ourselves in, when much is in transformation. . .we too are going thru these changes. . . remember all is one and connected.

So make your body your friend, your therapist. . .go to her when in need. . . .she'll never let you down. . . .she is wise beyond reason.

much love to you all

marilynxxx